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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in
talon_lana's InsaneJournal:
| Sunday, December 6th, 2009 | |
| 7:05 pm | |
| Saturday, March 21st, 2009 | |
| 10:31 pm | Private to the sisterhood of Stalker Targets Remember that old boyfriend I thought was dead? Turns out he's alive but there was a reason for everything. We ran into each other about a week or so back and after almost 3 hours of clearing the air we're ok, we have no chance as a couple but we are friends again. On the ex front (as in the ex husband) I guess no news is good news? |
| Sunday, November 16th, 2008 | |
| 1:06 am | *Private to Lyla,Sharpay,Shelly,Luna and Ruthie* Ok, we served our forced one session of shrinks. So you guys think an unoffical and shrink free group would be a good idea? Only us and I'm all for banning the adults on this one. As for meeting places we would have to keep everyone guessing but the stables are fair game (one new hand but we already had the discussion about el stalker, Jolan's actually pretty cool). I embraced my rage and I think I freaked him out, kinda cool given things right? One more session for me and my fingers are crossed the worst will be over. Since I work around horses there may be a way for my job to act as counseling, odd but I am a little curious. Worst case I can use this for part of my horse trainer studies. But Luna's seen this, the horses get me and they acted as an alarm system! Luna: I left the info sheet on classes at your room, Missy neighed a hello :) Thanksgiving: I finally heard back from Chloe and the ex has seemed to have skipped town! So I am going to drive back for dinner and to see my friends. But I'm willing to call and let someone know I got there and when I get back (only a few hours away so easy enough drive). Part I'm not looking foward to, anyone asking what happened. I know Chloe,Lois,Clark (he's the ex I'm on good terms with),Oliver and Jimmy won't push but you never know in a small town. But if he shows we have a plan (ok I just have a blonde wig but its something right?) Will anyone want leftovers? Clark's mom cooks enough for an army ;) I'm sure the whole spiral started when I escaped Lex. I deserve this.... I'm a magnet for freaks. *end private* Two new stallions at the stable, we named them Murray and Max. I'm taking Murray for a run tommorow and I'm actually excited, he's a Danish Warmblood so I'll be learning about his breed. We also got a new hand in Jolan and I got to talk with him while showing him around the barn and having him meet my favorites (Metro sounded his alarm) but all three of them like him so less worries for me. I'm also training an abused Appaloosa stallion my boss saved from an out of state farm. We're shooting for spring season since he and I are both having our problems. But training Blue is a good thing, its like he gets what happened to me. Jolan: I think you and I will get along great since you get horses the way I do. I'll be in the ring with Murray when you get in tommorow so come find me. |
| Sunday, October 26th, 2008 | |
| 1:00 pm | *private to Lyla,Sharpay,Shelly,Luna and Ruthie* I snuck away from the dorms yet again if anyone is looking for me. Let's just say I threw more cheap plates last night. As for the other problem who wants to get this over with and him off our cases sometime this week? Sooner the better right? But the nightmares are full blast and well the only place I'm feeling even semi safe is work, dozed off in a hay bale last night and only maybe got 30 minutes out of that. Between this and flashes of the wreck its not a pretty place inside my head at the moment. I hate the stares, I hate being screamed at even in my dreams, I hate the fact I'm having to fight all my battles all over again since leaving Smallville. You guys might as well know why I left Smallville thanks to all the press: I got out of a romance gone wrong and well I was with someone that is high profile. There is more to all this but for now that is the short version. I deserve every bit of this, I deserve every nightmare and every tear I've cried. I deserve to have the press breathing down my neck and I deserve every inch of pain. I'm nothing and he was right, nobody will love a wreck like me. I deserve this. *end private* *private to Dean Winchester* Can I see you again? You've gotten to me on some level and well we're from the same world, small town kids and all. *end private* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlRYZLhH Is it crazy I'm trying to teach myself this dance? *private but forgets to mark it as such* I am a freak.... I deserve to feel like garbage.... I deserve this... |
| Sunday, October 19th, 2008 | |
| 12:18 am | Private to Lyla,Sharpay,Shelly,Luna and Ruthie Either we relent and show or he stays on our backs, not my idea of fun giving the mess with my ex but if going gets him off our backs sooner then I say we relent. But trust me: the guys at the stable are getting tipped off just in case and if we meet as a group we should throw people off. From the sorioty house to the stabes to maybe somewhere off campus? Sorry, I'm dealing with a truckload since the press in Metropolis has now made me the pet target. Lois is keeping them off my trail but she's not sure for how much longer so anyone have ideas? I'll pass them along to her via my next email. I'm sorry to say this but we may not have much of a choice at this point. I say we go and hope he leaves us alone (but I'll email Chloe and Lois for options just in case). |
| Thursday, October 16th, 2008 | |
| 5:34 pm | Private to Sharpay,Ruthie,Michelle,Lyla and Luna He's going to stay on our cases! I think I can duck for another day or so tops but I have a sick feeling we may just have to face this fear and do this (I also have a feeling that he knows things like me working off campus). I can't stop shaking... As I told Sharpay thanks to my most recent ex I'm high profile so blame me if you must. I'm not coming back on campus tonight but my phone will be on. |
| Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 | |
| 9:29 am | Private to Lyla,Sharpay,Luna and Ruthie After that email arrived from el shrink I'm going to be spending as much time as possible off campus at work (Starfire Stables, I'm a riding teacher/stablehand). I'm safer there then having to face what I'm feeling right now plus one of my favorite mares is having babies anyday now! Call it a gut thing but part of me is sure we're going to be "convinced" to talk (plus I've had to do a couple of rounds while in the hospital after the accident). So I'm ducking for as long as I can hold out, at least an off campus job is a decent excuse right? So I asked my boss if the 4 of you could visit me if needed and she's very open to the idea. So just ask for me if I'm not in the barn or the outdoor ring. Before anyone worries: the horses are very friendly (especially Lilly and Metro) but Missy is due soon so I'm careful around her. So sure all my dirty baggage is public now... I'm alone here. No friends from home or even a boyfriend, I left to put a bad period of time behind me. So this serves me right, I deserve all of this. I deserve to never stop crying in the stable and I do not deserve to be loved. Lyla: Tim has my cell number, he kinda found me post plate throwing fit Monday. *end private* Missy (as in horse) is having her babies anyday now so spending more time at the stables. Plus its strange but its the one place I'm feeling anything close to safe right now, long story. So if anyone is looking for me try there first. I deserve all of this from the accident to now.... Besides classes and work don't expect me to really leave the dorms... Cassie: Be ready for flying glass, Lois and Chloe sent me more plates of the dirt cheap kind. Wonder if I can stay off campus for the short term? I work with guys that could pass for linebackers after all... Current Mood:  exhausted but hiding it |
| Monday, September 29th, 2008 | |
| 10:56 am | (written pre-breakdown) No man would love a freak No man would love a target magnet No man would love a woman with a year like mine No man would love me First I leave to start over then the accident aka the 7 months I can't remember but in flashes. Now this... But I'm going back to work today, can't teach for another week but can be around the horses again. Unlike people horses won't pull anything and knowing the ones I've bonded with they won't let anyone near me. Can't bring myself to even consider going back to Smallville, I know my friends back home worry but too many memories. Maybe a weekend in the near future just to see Clark,Lois,Chloe and Oliver? Beyond classes and work I'm not leaving the dorms. I know people will be after me to get back into life but guess what? I'm scared out of my wits! The memory flashes are hitting again and I'm a mental wreck. I deserve all of this,I deserve every tear I've cried and will cry and every nightmare. I deserve all of this. I deserve to become the ice queen again to save what is left of my soul. *Lana slams the send button and breaks down in a fresh round of tears* |
| Saturday, June 7th, 2008 | |
| 7:23 pm | |
| Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008 | |
| 1:06 am | Life has gotten back to semi normal since the blackout and to be honest I did not take things very well. Blame a few recent events for that reaction to be honest. But now its a summer class and teaching little kids how to ride horses, missed being around the horses. Sometimes they understand better than people... Oh man gotta go! One of the mares just went into labor! |
| Sunday, May 18th, 2008 | |
| 4:16 pm | Second full week in operation new beginning... Ok, after facing down one fear there's always new ones coming into the light. As far as the suitemates go I've only met Blair and Ruthie, both of them seem nice enough and no sign of roomie #3 just yet. But as time goes I'll eventually meet her. But they have no clue what really happened and right now I kinda need that. Met Cedric during one of my needing to get away moments this week. He understands all too well what I'm going through on an emotional level and its nice to be able to totally come clean about things. Also went to my first doctor's visit post hospital visit: Peter's nice and thankfully nothing like the doctors. The memory blanks have not gone away yet but between him and the doctors it could be anywhere from another 3 to 6 months before I unravel them. I'm also working and taking a couple of summer classes. I'm a riding instructor at the stable near campus and just being around horses again is helping me recover, a tiny link to the Lana I knew. As for classes I'm taking online accounting and one on equine science, since my dream is to own my own stable it just made sense. But I must sign off for now: one of the mares is due to give birth anyday now and I just want to run by the stable and check on her and the rest of the horses. Cedric: Soda after classes tommorow? I get off from the stable at 4 PM. Lana |
| Saturday, May 10th, 2008 | |
| 7:13 pm | I've sat here for who knows how long trying to write out a simple intro, its much harder than it looks! But here goes nothing right? I'm Lana Lang and I just transfered in from Met U, a school a few hours away from Kansas City. I'm actually from Smallville, a little town a couple of hours away and I'm a freshman business major. To make a very long story short I spent the last few months in the hospital after being in a car accident. There's still a few blanks in my memory but those should work themselves out before too much longer. Plus the doctors think I should gain some weight. Just moved into the suite and no sign of the suitemates yet, only have 3 names from the housing office. I just know I'm living with Ruthie, Blair and Serena. I just open they are nice and normal..... I'm working as a riding instructor at a stable near campus so want to learn how to ride a horse? But I'm just like everyone else, wanting to meet new people and see what lies ahead on this crazy road. For right now I'm off to the stables to check on one of the mares, she's due to give birth any day now. Voice mail is always on! *private* Chloe is going to freak and I can only hope a car accident cover works, nobody would get the whole real story. Spending the last month in hiding did not really help things but at least you know who is out of my life *end private* |
| Saturday, January 12th, 2008 | |
| 3:12 pm | Voicemail ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _taintedspringYou've reached Lana Lang and I'm not in right now, drop me a message or try the cell phone if its major. Clark,Chloe: you two know where I can be found |